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The House Mates.
Arthur, Writer, Venture, Drawing, Philosophy
arthurventure
 There once was a scrupulously clean man named Rupert. He was so clean, that his fingernails were never ever dirty, and his feet never smelled, and his coat was washed once a day. Then came the day that filthy Theodore came to town to live with Rupert, he had leased out a room in his house so that he could save for his own personal dry cleaner. Anyway, so Theodore packed all of his stuff up from his cottage in Oxford and made his way to London, to live with Mr Rupert.

Suffice to say that they didn't get along in the very least, Theodore would wear his clothes for weeks at a time, and had this strange pungent scent which Rupert found to be quite sickening. In an attempt to get Theodore to move from his apartment, the crotchety old Rupert devised a most diabolical plan. He would up the rent to such extreme amounts, that Theodore would assuredly 'have' to move. Or so he thought.

Turns out that the messy young scamp came from an incredibly well to do family of merchant bankers, the kind with those stuffy coats and elbow patches, worn away at the sides. They wanted nothing to do with Theodore also! So they paid exorbitant amounts to Rupert for him to keep young Theodore in his home. Rupert, not one to let an opportunity pass him by, cogitated on an even greater plan than the one previously mentioned. He would use the money being paid by Theodores parents and family to build a granny flat for his stinking house mate, but as the suburb that Rupert lived in was a built up area he knew he wouldn't be able to build it in his incredibly tiny yard.

Using his foundation knowledge of architecture, he constructed a blue print for a sky box, a large flat house that would 'float' above his own! Using the money he paid for cranes and builders and everything you could possibly think of needed to build this architectural wonderment. He made it very clear, that there would need to be an elevator down the side of his house that would lead up to the sky house. A couple of agonising months passed for Rupert and Theodore, having to be graced with each others conflicting personalities and living habits the entire season.

Upon completion of the sky house, Rupert arranged for an unveiling of his latest construction. Led by the old architect, Theodore took the second elevator up to the house, Rupert very clearly stating he would not be cramped into the same elevator as the stinking, dirty young man he had to live with for so long. This was the first time either of them had seen the inside of the house

Rupert was amazed!

He then became jealous of Theodore’s new establishment, and decided he would keep it for himself and make Theodore live in the old house underneath. Theodore, saddened by the sudden swiftness of his expulsion from his lofty dream house, made his way back down the elevator. It was then, that he suddenly heard splintering noises coming from the roof of the ground level building. Slowly, in a dream like trance, Theodore stared as he witnessed the sky house begin to tilt ever more to the left!

Oh no, he thought to himself, poor Rupert is still up there!

He'll be killed!

So he quickly dialled 999 and had the fire brigade come post haste! The fire brigade arrive just in time to see the Jetson's style home fall to the ground, LUCKILY, landing in a large lake situated in a local park. Fortunately for Rupert, he was unscathed, and the house floated atop the waters surface long enough for him to make his escape from the slowly sinking house.

Rupert learned a harsh lesson that by being so incredibly greedy and insensitive to other peoples differences, he in turn caused trouble for himself and almost killed a completely innocent person, one that he was paid to mind. Rupert felt such remorse, that he changed his ways, sold his house and opened a homeless shelter, so that he may make amends for his intolerance of stinky people. Theodore moved back with his parents, who realised that they should be responsible for his safety, and that throwing money at a situation doesn't fix things.

THE END.

[I wrote this story off the top of my head during an MSN conversation with a dear friend of mine. - Arthur Venture]

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